It Tastes So Good When It Hits Your Lips

I was at a bar on Saturday night when I met a guy and his sister that were vacationing from Manchester. Despite this I still struck up a conversation about life and other things. Right in front of the bar there was a stall that was selling some weird looking fruit (see below). My new friend Ed was practically begging me to try it, saying that it would change my life. I was skeptical considering that it looked like a giant spore. Of course what sealed the deal was his offer to buy and I can’t pass up free food, especially now that I’m going to be jobless in 10 days. So fruit was bought, skin was peeled off to reveal a soft egg looking thing underneath (see more pictures below). I did take the first bite and I can say that it was life changing. It was like a cross between a watermelon and a strawberry, but it was all natural. Oh so succulent also. The juice was running down my chin. The next thought I had was, why do we not have this in the States? Maybe the look is the problem?

The Ugly American?

The Ugly American?

When you’re growing up and you hear people talk about traveling eventually the topic comes to the “Ugly American”. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. The person or couple from the States who are loud and want to know why nobody in whatever country they’re in doesn’t speak English while at the same time violating every cultural taboo they can. You hear about these stereotypes and you see them in movies the like “A Good Year” (under appreciated movie by the way), “Live and Let Die” (Roger Moore’s James Bond) and countless others.

My question is, where is this person? In all the countries I have been to, I have never found one. In fact the most obnoxious and loud people I have had the pleasure of meeting while overseas have been Australian. For instance I’m in the Skytrain station on Friday night and this dude is stumbling down the platform like its a ship at sea. Good on him for being drunk by 8 o’clock at night, I’ve got nothing against that, in fact I encourage it. What I do disapprove of is yelling at the Pepsi billboards because you think Cesc Fabregas (soccer player) can “suck my dick, you fuckin pussy”. You sir are a disgrace to your country. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Thailand vs. America

Here are my ten reasons why Thailand is better than America. If you don't think this is true, I will fight you, and that's no lie.

10. Its amazing what kind of hotel you can get for $50 a night.
9. Soccer is on 24-7.
8. $10 for an hour long massage...enough said.
7. You can't go 5 feet without passing a street stall that sells meat on a stick.
6. July and August is the rainy season.
5. There is a 7-11 on every corner.
4. Seat belts and child car seats are for pessimists.
3. Stop signs...what are those?
2. You can buy hard liquor at 7-11 (for further clarification refer back to reason #5)
1. 5'8" is considered tall.